Sunday, December 9, 2018

Family Court - the Source of the Corruption

I ran across a great video on corruption in family court.



Mostly it discusses corruption as related to child support. Thankfully this is one area that Minnesota has reformed. Unfortunately, the corrupt practices simple moved to alimony. 

For child support, Minnesota has a formula that in essence is skewed to the benefit of the child. It can be unfair as often one parent is unwilling to work responsibly or hides their true income by working off-books but I do not have an issue with that. It isn't the child fault they have an unethical parent after all.  The interests of the child overrides fairness for the parents. Which is unfortunate but there is really no other way as trying to determine a fair solution would not only be difficult as people would lie and commit fraud but incredibly costly. You know like trying to determine alimony. 

If Minnesota would reform alimony like they have child support the crime, cost and pain it causes would be reduced by an order of magnitude. 

The other thing I love about the video is that is contains scenes from Les Misérables, one of my favorite books and plays. 

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Cohen vs. Wince

Michael Cohen, President Trump's former lawyer and fixer, committed a lot of crimes for Trump over the years, as he has now admitted. Nelly Wince, Spring's former lawyer, clearly and without question committed crimes for Spring.

Michael Cohen's crimes were done for power and money. He claims they were meant to protect Trump. Nelly Wince's crimes were likewise done for power and money.

Michael Cohen's crimes are just one part of a much wider web of corruption. Nelly Wince's  crimes are just one part of a much wider web of corruption.

Michael Cohen will likely get a reduced sentence for cooperating with Special Counsel Robert Mueller's investigation but will almost certainly serve time in jail.  Let's hope Nelly Wince will someday pay for her crimes as well. 

Although you might think Michael Cohen's crimes to be greater evil because they involved the highest levels of our government, consider that the consequences of Nelly Wince's crimes for both the county as a whole and the individuals in it are far worse. A corrupt legal system destroys the very foundation of justice in our society. It destroys even the hope for justice.

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is the most traditional holiday for me. All my siblings get together with their kids and occasionally the random guest or two who did not have anywhere else to go. The kids and I host. The food is mostly the same. The core being the traditional turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and pies, along with our family traditions of stuffed olives and pistachios. And there are always a few unique items every year. This year one of my brothers brought whipped sweet potatoes and my eldest made polbano peppers stuffed with cream cheese and wrapped in bacon. Mmmm.

The stories and jokes are the same. Somehow, despite this, everyone laughs just the same as always. This reminds me of when I was a kid and would laugh at my uncles' well worn stories and jokes. Tradition. 

We truly give thanks at Thanksgiving. For family. For love. For those who have sacrificed for us. I take a broad view on this. I thank my parents who not only raised me but gave the opportunity to be educated. They taught me to think critically. They taught me ethics and responsibility.

I thank all those who throughout history have worked to improve humanity. Those who have helped others. Those who have made humanity better. Whether that be in new knowledge, art or ethics.

I believe we who have benefited so much from the countless people who have gone before us have an obligation to do the same. It is unfortunate that many, due to lack of material wealth or education, can only deal with daily survival.  Others, even more sadly, choose to go through life only caring about themselves. They use others to obtain wealth or prestige without guilt. They live life only to entertain themselves. They lack the empathy to even realize they are hurting others. They gladly commit the most heinous actions if they are assured they can get away with them. This site has many examples of people who act this way.

I have spent years being the victim of crime. Crimes committed by Spring as well as many working in family court. Although I have spoken out, I have seen zero progress in my case and have no real evidence my protests have helped others. Although I hope they have.

But clearly my efforts have been subdued due to my desire to protect my children. Spring has used the children as leverage agaisnt me. She doesn't realize she hurts them and herself in doing so.

Now, with my youngest graduating form college in the spring, that leverage is having less and less of an effect. I know that I am not in a unique position. I know that unethical and criminal actions are common in family court. I know that these actions are a cancer on society and spread pain, suffering and even death to many innocent people. Given that knowledge, am I not obligated to do all I am capable of to improve justice in family court? 

To be honest, the reason I have not spoke out more, the reason I have remained publicly anonymous, is not just to protect the children. It is because this is not what I envisioned my contribution to society to be. There are many, many other ways to help humanity I would prefer to focus on. The corruption in family court has a stench that repels me. But it seems I do not have a choice. Because it has not been my choice.

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Champions? Hopefully Some Day

I went as saw Bohemian Rhapsody this weekend. In a theater. I don't think I have seen a movie in a theater in over half a year. The movie centers on the band Queen and especially it's lead singer Freddie Mercury, who tragically died of complications from Aids in 1991.

Mercury came from a Parsis family that emigrated from Zanzibar to the UK. His parents had earlier emigrated to Zanzibar from India. They practiced the ancient Zoroastrian religion.  In the movie Freddie's father would  advise, "good thoughts, good words, good deeds", a Zoroastrian tenet. Just before Queen played at Live Aid in 1985, Mercury repeated the phrase to his father to show he had indeed listened to the advice.

The movie, although a bit sanitized, was excellent.

It was especially poignant for me as for many years now whenever I hear the opening verse of the Queen song "We are the Champions" I feel a distinct connection.
I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I've come through
I hope someday the last line rings fully true. But no matter what:
Good Thoughts
Good Words
Good Deeds

Friday, November 9, 2018

Stress

I have to apologize on my last post as it looks suspiciously similar to the September 23 post. I did not notice until a few days after I published it. I even used the same graphic!

My only excuse is that I have been extremely busy lately. I am always too busy but it has been especially bad lately. I just cannot seem to catch up on work. That combined with taking care of the kids and maintaining a relationship barely leaves me time for cleaning the house and doing the other maintenance items in life. Oh yeah, there is also my work advocating for a more just family court system of which this site is a part of.

So I am stressed. Which is a good (or bad?) segue into a new study that shows that a father's stress can be passed down to his children.
A stressed-out and traumatized father can leave scars in his children. New research suggests this happens because sperm “learn” paternal experiences via a mysterious mode of intercellular communication in which small blebs break off one cell and fuse with another.
Striking evidence that harsh conditions affect a man’s children came from crop failures and war ravaging Europe more than a century ago. In those unplanned human experiments, prolonged famine appeared to set off a host of health changes in future generations, including higher cholesterol levels and increased rates of obesity and diabetes. 
Great. Given that I have not only had numerous crimes committed against me not only by Spring but many others and the fact that I have to work for the rest of my life to benefit the perpetrators of those crimes, I suspect I am at the high end of stress. The fact that I can never retire nor can I remarry because that would obligate my new wife to pay alimony to Spring should I become sick or disabled only adds to it.  Not to mention the "normal" stress that comes from being a single parent.

I have never understood how people can commit terrible acts. Are they simply evil? Do they lack a moral compass? I think part of it is that they just do not think about the consequences of their actions. Perjury may get you alimony but it also might push your ex to suicide. Stating that you are unable to work when you can might give you a life of leisure but at the expense of your children's respect and love. A lawyer who lies in court may win his or her case but the victim may become so despondent he gets drunk and causes a car crash that kills children.

Actions have consequences. If you want to be a good person, you have to thoroughly think them through.

Sunday, November 4, 2018

Holding Family Law Judges Accountable

ParentAdvocates.org has a good article titled, Holding Family Law Judges Accountable.
Today’s family law judges are generally rubber stamps for civil rights abuses. It is routine for due process to be violated. Unequal protection by the law is the norm. The judges generally think this is all OK because family law courts aren’t criminal courts. Judges complain they don’t have enough time to handle the numerous cases they have. They complain about budget cuts. They complain about needless litigation. Whose fault is all of that? They should look themselves in their mirrors as they have created the problems that have lead to the family law courts being overwhelmed with destructive litigation.
How true. Family court is probably he single biggest arena for crime in the country. That may sound like an exaggeration but keep in mind courts have a long history of operating in a criminal manner. Just look how they treated minorities in the past? Sadly when courts act criminally, there is almost no ability for the victims to obtain justice. After all, it is the courts who rule on injustice. This is the very reason so many victims turn to violence against themselves or others. And when bad people sees just how easy and financially rewarding it is to commit crime in the courtroom, they flock to it like moths to a light. 

The article delves into several areas of abuse caused by corrupt judges and officers of the court including:

  • Family Law Judges Rubber-Stamp Civil Rights Abuses
  • Family Law Courts Reward Criminals, Punish Victims
  • Typical Family Law Abuses Include “Kick Out” Orders

As this site has shown in some detail, I and my children have been victims of all of these.

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Bullies And Their Sycophants

There is a lot of anti-bulling talk in schools but what is bullying? My definition: Bullying is when a person uses power, physical or other, to intimidate, hurt or steal from another person.  In the past we did not call people bullies so much, we just called them evil. Same thing.

Bullies have a hierarchy. Usually there is a top dog in a group. That group may be in a neighborhood, a school, or even a country. Hitler was bully. So is Trump.

Bullies are supported by their sycophants. Cesar Sayoc who mailed pipe bombs to former government officials, including a President and Secretary of State along with other critics of Donald Trump, is a bully and sycophant.

There are degrees of bullying. Or degrees of evil if you will. In reality, no one is 100% good. We all have our moments. But still, there are lines you should not cross. As a society we try to define those lines with the criminal code.  To be clear you can still be evil and not be a criminal. Racism, sexism, and hate in general are not crimes. Only actions are crimes.

Which is why it is so disturbing when people commit crimes and get away with them.

Judge Mearly is a bully. He likes to intimidate people. But I am not sure whether or not he committed an actual crime.

Spring and Nelly Wince clearly committed crimes. Horrendous ones. They not only got away with their crimes but it pays every day for them.

When bullies are tolerated within a group bullying becomes institutionalized. That is what happened in Nazi Germany. That is what happened under Stalin in the USSR. That is what happened under Saddam Hussein in Iraq.  That is what is happening today in family court in Ramsey County Minnesota.

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Cost of Alimony

I ran across some interesting statistics in an article on the changes in tax law for alimony. Basically the law no longer allows for alimony to be deducted by the payer. However, this change does not affect existing agreements or orders.

One of the reasons the law was passed is because people were cheating. in 2015 15 million people who pay alimony deducted it from their taxes. I am one of them. However, only 10 million alimony recipients declared alimony, which was taxable for them, on their taxes.

So 5 million people who received alimony paid no taxes on it. That is a  huge amount of money not paid to the government that law abiding taxpayers needed to make up for. Yet another reason why alimony is a cost for all taxpayers.

And let's keep in mind that for those 5 million people who are cheating the system, this is unlikely the only crime they are committing. Criminals rarely commit only one crime.

Even for the 10 million that dutifully declared the alimony they received on their taxes, there is a cost to taxpayers.  The alimony recipient has a strong incentive not to make more money as that would put their alimony at risk. So they become willfully underemployed thus also reducing tax revenue for the government. Furthermore, because normally the alimony recipient earns less money than the payer the amount of the tax deduction for the payer is greater than the taxes paid by the recipient so again the government receives less taxes.

When you add up the cost of the cheaters, willful underemployment, and the effect of alimony duductability it comes out to a massive amount of lost taxes. Taxes that must be made up by those who follow the rules and act with integrity.

Thursday, October 11, 2018

The Tax Payer Cost of Divorce

One of the many tax payer costs of divorce is that divorced people can claim social security benefit based on an ex-spouse contribution history. How much this costs taxpayers is quite difficult to figure out. But let's take a stab anyway.

  • Approximately 2,000,000 (roughly) women are divorced who are of social security age. See
  • The increase in social security for a divorced woman receiving social security over a married one is $1860/year. See

Thus the cost to taxpayers is $3.72 billion/year. (2,000,000 x 1860) And that is a conservative estimate given that I have ignored men who receive social security based on their ex-wife's income. I did this because I could not find good statistics for men. Yet another subtle sign of sexism.

Taxpayers are not only subsiding people who divorce but are actually encouraging them to do so.

Even worse, to quote the social security administration in the second link above, "many divorced women will become eligible for the higher benefits if their ex-husbands die" Yikes! What a crazy world.

Saturday, October 6, 2018

Tort Museum


I heard an interesting interview with Ralph Nader on Marketplace Morning Report about the The American Museum of Tort Law, which he founded. The museum is dedicated to educating the public about the benefits of tort litigation and trial by jury.

In the interview, Nader makes a strong case for the social benefit of litigation, both individual and class action. Even in cases where virtually all the money goes to the lawyers, Nader believes that the end result is a reduction in harm to society.

I do not actually disagree with Nader in general. Automobiles, medications, and consumer products are just a few of the areas where litigation has resulted in consumer benefit. But let's not be naive. There are also many, many cases of litigation where the point is not to benefit society but to essentially extort money for the lawyers. Litigation is expensive. Often it is much cheaper to pay a settlement even if you are in the right than it is to defend yourself.

Sunday, September 30, 2018

Kavanaugh

I have tried to be non-partisan and non-political with this site because corruption is not a political matter or at least not a partisan Democratic or Republican issue. There are just as many corrupt people who are Democrats as Republicans in my experience. In fact, I detest partisanism as it by definition means putting the party above what is right.

However, I will make a few comments on the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court:

  • In his testimony Kavanaugh demonstrated a remarkable disrespect for the Senate.  The clearest example was when Senator Klobuchar from Minnesota questioned him about blackout drinking. She explained that she understood alcohol abuse because her father was an alcoholic. Have you ever blacked out? she asked. He sneered in response, “Have you?” He went on and on in this vein. 
  • Kavanaugh's testimony clearly showed that he is a conspiracy theorist. Watch here. He directly implicates a former president, former presidential nominee and vast swaths of the public in a conspiracy against him. Wow. 
  • Many media reports either imply or state outright that all, or at least most men, act the way Kavanaugh was alleged to have acted. That would be like me stating that all women commit perjury in family court. Let's leave prejudice out of it on both sides. The truth is that most men do not act the way Kavanaugh was alleged to have acted and most women do not commit perjury like Spring did in family court. I certainly have never acted any way like Kavanaugh was alleged to have acted. 
  • I heard a media report that only 2-3% of sexual assault accusations are false. That could well be true but it is also true that the vast majority of abuse allegations made in family court are false. Unfortunately, many women who would not report a false rape to the police will falsely accuse the man they are divorcing of abuse. Is there a difference? Sure. But it doesn't feel that way to the victims. 
  • Many media reports seem to think that women are infantile and cannot possibly take care of themselves. If that allegations made against Kavanaugh are true that is certainly sexual assault but everything is not sexual assault.  I have been at parties where I drank too much and was sexual fondled by a woman. Was that sexual assault? Would it be if I was a woman.? Assault should not be defined by the genders of the perpetrator and victim. And let's get rid of this crazy notion that women because they are on average physically less strong than men are always the victim. In our society most people are so out of shape genetic physical fitness doesn't even matter. And raw strength is only only part of it. Keep in mind that studies show that men and women are equally physically abusive in relationships. During my relationship with Spring she hit me numerous time; I have a permanently shifted septum as a reminder. I never so much as touched her aggressively. Viewing women as the weaker sex is just sexism. 
  • I do, however, think that if a woman had testified with the tone Kavanaugh did she would have been ridiculed far more than Kavanaugh was. This too is due to sexism.  

I  do not know if the allegations against Kavanaugh are true or false. I tend to believe them but there is little hard evidence. However, I do know that Kavanaugh's testimony demonstrated that he is completely unable to handle being a justice on the Supreme Court. He is far too partisan, believes in vast conspiracies against him, and handles pressure poorly. 

Sunday, September 23, 2018

Holding Family Law Judges Accountable

Holding Family Law Judges Accountable, an article on ParentAdvocates.org, discusses the fact that judges often fail to uphold the law, reward criminals, and financially devastate the innocent.
Family law courts in the United States are a disgusting and abusive mess. While we can’t blame it all on the judges as many problems are caused by lying litigants, the judges are ultimately responsible for most of the problems. They should be upholding the law, ensuring that people’s rights are not violated, and requiring reasonable proof of allegations before they are acted upon. But in the United States today, that’s not the function of family law judges.
... 
their failure to punish perjury results in massive increases in court hearings. It also results in far more complicated cases in which innocent parties who are being truthful are abused by lying litigants with the assistance of incompetent judges. And all of this adds up to spiraling legal costs which often don’t end until after all of the marital assets are depleted.
Indeed. The failure of judges to do their job is the main reason corruption is so prevalent in the courtroom. In my case it was pretty clear that Spring was making perjurous statements which the judge could have easily determined  just by talking to them - something I asked the judge to do several times but Spring always objected. And in the case of fraud committed by Spring and her lawyer Nelly Wince, the evidence is simply unquestionable.

Yes, litigants often lie. Yes, lawyers often lie. Yes, fraud is common in family court. But the reason this happens is that it works. It is an effective strategy and one that carried little risk of being punished.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Lying Through Others

A recent study found that it is easier to lie through others for monetary advantage than to do so yourself.

I suspect lying through writing is the same as lying through others. I know in my case when I asked Spring about her false statements make in affidavits she stated that, "I just didn't understand how the system worked." Also, I doubt Spring would have made the often outlandish fabrications her lawyer, Nelly Wince, make in the courtroom. Indeed, Spring never made any false allegations when I was in the room, either in mediation or the courtroom. She relied on written affidavits, which were probably crafted by Wince, and statements made by Wince. 

To be clear, during our marriage Spring often lied to me but it was more passive aggressive lying. For example, if I asked about the kids homework she would state it was done. This she would clarify after a teacher contacted me because of a missing assignment that she had told the kids to do their homework.

Or if I stated we needed to cut down on spending, she would say okay and then increase her spending. To make her point clear, the increase would all be on frivolous luxuries for herself.

Nelly Wince, on the other hand, has no reluctance in lying. Unfortunately she is the type of lawyer that believes lying is just a tool to "win" the case. And wining for her is about how much money she can obtain for her and her client. Not how happy her client ends up. And any harm done to children along they way is completely irrelevant to her. 

Saturday, September 8, 2018

More On Family Court Corruption

The reality is that the family law system will, unless both litigants are good people, take as much money during a divorce as possible. Lawyers, judges, mediators and others simply make more money by causing pain as suffering as long as possible to the litigants. It is in their vested interest to act immorally. It is also in their interest to act criminally because, despite the law, they have near immunity to punishment. Don't just take my word - watch this:


Viewing the above is pretty painful. Especially hearing about the average cost of divorce which is far less than half of what I paid. Not to mention the massive amount of alimony I pay every month and have to do so until I die. It makes me sick.

Monday, September 3, 2018

It's All About The Money

Divorce lawyers bill by the hour and make more money the more hours they bill. Obviously. Judges are supposed to be the ones to keep a check on the lawyers so that they are not simply extending the divorce proceedings to fleece the litigants.

However, judges are lawyers and often move in and out of private practice. They are also often friends with the lawyers in the cases before them. And they quite often take campaign money from the lawyers that appear before them.

The Lawyers Professional Responsibility Board (LPRB) is responsible for making sure that all lawyers act in accordance with the lawyers rules of professional conduct. However, given that they almost never act on complaints against a lawyer and even when they do so it is almost always after the lawyer has been convicted of a crime combined with the fact that, in Minnesota at least, they have never disciplined a lawyer for knowingly lying in family court, it is clear the LPRB's focus is on shielding lawyers from the consequences of their criminal actions not ensuring the ethical rules are followed.

But, you might say, surely law enforcement will step into to make sure the law if followed. Well not when the county attorney's office states that there is no law agaisnt a lawyer lying in court.

You could not ask for a better way to set the stage for corruption.

No doubt there are good lawyers. The problem is that the bad ones can commit crimes with near impunity.

Here from Family Court Corruption is an example from Texas. Minnesota operates the same way.


Sunday, August 26, 2018

The Darkest Hour

Not mine although sometimes I feel I am close. The subject refers to the movie, The Darkest Hour, which came out late last year. The movie is about Winston Churchill's accent to Prime Minster of the United Kingdom in 1940, the rapidly deteriorating war situation, and Churchill's struggles to inspire the country to continue the war effort rather than negotiate peace with the Nazis. Gary Oldman's performance as Churchill won him the Academy Award for Best Actor.

If it were not for Churchill's relentless pursuit of justice, our world would be a very different place than it is today.

Yet it was not easy for Churchill. He had doubts as to the best course of action. He made many tactical changes but he never wavered from his goal of justice.  He know the Nazis were brutal and barbaric. He knew no further negotiation with them was possible.

Like many if not most people, I take bits of movies, songs, books, poems, and quotes and relate them to my own life. It is remarkable that Winston Churchill's incredible leadership in defeating the Nazis could inspire me in my battles agaisnt crime and injustice with the family court system. But it does. It really does.

Never Surrender to the those who commit crimes agaisnt the innocent. Never Surrender to those who seek to enrich themselves at the expense of others.  Never Surrender to those who kill or cause to be killed people, including children, who have done nothing wrong.

See the movie if you have not. It may just inspire you as well.



Sunday, August 19, 2018

Before We Were Yours

I am about 90% of the way through the novel Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate.  Although the story is fictional,  it tells the all too real story of several victims of the Tennessee Children Home Society run by Geogia Tann which, under the guise of an adoption agency, operated a human trafficking ring where children were stolen, abused and sold off often without either the biological or adoptive parents knowledge. Many children died and some more than likely murdered in cold blood.

Tann got away with her crimes from the 1920's until 1950. She died before she was brought to justice. During much of time she operated she was a well known and respected member of society. Eleanor Roosevelt even praised her for her work. If she only knew.

How was Tann able to operate her criminal and repugnant racket for so long? Corruption. She paid off many people in law enforcement and the judiciary to turn a blind eye to her activities.

Sound familiar? Nelly Wince and others who operate criminally in the family law today are the modern day Geogia Tanns. They use and often abuse children to achieve money and power.  Friends in the system are able to not only protect them but even reward their criminal activities.

We have not eliminated bad people from society - they just migrate to areas where they can best succeed. Today the easiest, safest and most lucrative place to commit crime is in family court.

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Can Alimony as a Concept Ever Change?

Men's Divorce asks: Can Alimony as a Concept Ever Change?

Alimony is an odd, anachronistic, and generally misogynist concept. It is based on the idea that men are required to take care of women because women lack the intelligence to support themselves. The clearest demonstration of this is that alimony ends the moment a woman remarries. The reasoning is that now she has a new man to take care of her. Truly bizarre.

A rational could be made for alimony in the days when women were not allowed to work at income generating jobs but that day is long past.

Even without alimony, Spring was able take half the assets accumulated during the marriage despite not having contributed anything to accumulating them. And it isn't like she was the primary parent during the marriage. According to the custody evaluator she was at best a joint parent. According to me far less so. On top of that she never used one dime of her income to benefit the children.

I could go on an on, as I often have, about how Spring forced me to pay over $100,000 in legal costs, the blatant crimes she committed in family court, and crushing permanent alimony I have to pay until I die. The point is that alimony is not just usually unfair, it often ordered to reward criminal actions. The result of all this  unethical and criminal activity? Innocents victimized, suicides, depression, violence, more crime and quite often the death of innocents.

Thursday, August 9, 2018

One Needs Vision

One Needs Vision To Reduce Suffering


I know what the suffering is. I have experience the result of a family law system that does not operate by rule of law. So have my children.  I  know that this causes suffering and even death for many people. Every day. Although  I  have undeniable evidence of immorality and criminal actions, but like evidence of wrongdoing in a Nazi concentration camp, this does little good, and often great harm, due to the prevalent and institutional nature of the corruption.

So what is the vision I need to change the system? More legal challenges? Public exposure? Shaming? I wish the path was clear.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Man Is Free The Moment He Wishes To Be

One of my favorite quotes by the eminently quotable Voltaire is:

 

I have been bullied, harassed, abused, stolen from, and lied to by Spring. I have seen, and have absolute evidence of, corruption by lawyers, judges, the Lawyers Office of Professional Responsibility and the County Attorney's office.  I have been condemned to work the rest of my life to reward criminals. I have been in all practically prevented from ever marrying or even living with the girl I stated dating a couple years after Spring left me.

I am not free. Maybe it is time I decide to be.

Sunday, July 29, 2018

Sleepzzzzzzzzz

Well this is just great. First I read a fascinating National Geographic article on sleep science that explains the latest research on why we sleep and dream. But then I read an article on why not getting enough sleep is so bad for you.

I used to be a pretty good sleeper. Now, although I am in bed close to 8 hours per night, I tend to wake up in the middle of the night tossing and turning. But I guess given how much I have been harassed, bullied, lied to and victimize by crime, that isn't entirely unexpected. I suppose the bright side is that I have become much more empathetic to the oppressed around the world.  I can commiserate with with their experiences is a quite visceral way. Every night.

The question is how much longer can I keep it up without it killing me.

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Family Court Corruption

Most people do not understand how corrupt family court often is. Here is a great explanation from a few years ago of an actual case.



I think judges and lawyers who act corruptly should not only have to reimburse their victims for losses but have to pay an amount equal to what the court ordered the victim to pay.  Sadly the system is so corrupt that even with absolute evidence of crime, such as I have with Nelly Wince, there is little hope the guilty will be brought to justice.

Saturday, July 14, 2018

California MoveOn.org Alimony Reform Petition

If you live in California, take a look at this MoveOn.org alimony reform petition. I doubt it will pass but the more people who sign it the better chance we have to move society in a more just and fair direction. The petition states:
Remove unlimited jurisdiction by the California Family Law courts over long term Marriages with no children. One spouse should not be eternally responsible for the other once a divorce is final. End family law jurisdiction at 5 years, no matter the length of the marriage.
Some of the comments are quite poignant:
Twinkle Tuttle from Harbor City, CA
Jul 3, 2018
"I cannot seek a divorce from my unemployed abusive husband as I can't afford alimony and 2 residences."
kevinze2@yahoo.com from CHULA VISTA, CA
Jun 28, 2018
"There should absolutely never be a thing called "permanent alimony". Half the time of any marriage no matter how long it was is more than enough time for the other spouse to become self supporting. In my very strong opinion should NEVER be over 5 years alimony. Every individual should be able to fend for themselves after 5 years maximum alimony. Permanent alimony is absurd and unjust. How can the other party ever move on with their lives?? Another spouse should not be able to take advantage of the system more than 5 years max and really it should be at 15-20 years and not 10. Think about it...California is the "only" state with such a ridiculous long term wrath and abomination of one party."
Although I will point out that it is not true that California is the only state with such a ridiculously long term for alimony. Minnesota is every bit as bad. 
Neal Hoskins from Imperial beach, CA
Jun 28, 2018
"If you get divorced why should anyone pay the other forever"
Zlatin Dimitrov from Livermore, CA
Dec 22, 2017
"If in a country where you can let go of your kids when they turn 18 years old and not be obligated to support them financially, why would you need to support an grown up adult person."

Sunday, July 8, 2018

Online Reviews of Law Firms and Lawyers

It has always been really hard to write online reviews of lawyers and law firms. Angie's List does not allow them for fear of being sued. Many other sites have similar policies. Even those that do not, will often remove a negative review when requested by a lawyer or law firm for the same reason. I have had my review of Nelly Wince at Avvo removed. Which really make you question whether Avvo has any legitimacy at all.  (rather like the Lawyers Professional Responsibility Board)

Lawyers claim that an bad review can ruin their business so they need protection. Why that would be true for lawyers but not plumbers, electricians or anyone else is beyond me.

But there is hope. In California, the court has ruled that Yelp can’t be ordered to remove negative posts concerning a law firm. This is small but encouraging step.

Sunday, June 24, 2018

The Arbitrary Nature of Alimony

One of the biggest sources of injustice in family court is the arbitrary nature of alimony awards. In Minnesota, child support is completely predictable. Alimony is completely unpredictable.

I was talking to a friend of mine last week. Her husband left her for another woman. She was a stay at home mom at the time. She received no alimony and only $250/month in child support despite her having primary custody of the children. After the divorce she went out and got as an administrative assistant job. Her ex-husband retired early.

I pay well over $3000/month in permanent (as in until I die) alimony. For many years I also paid a large amount of child support. This despite the fact that Spring left me, the custody evaluator ruled she was not the primary parent, a volitional assessment that found she could make just as much money as me, and joint custody post-divorce. (but in reality I had primary custody)  In addition, I paid well over $100,000 in legal fees due to her strategy of using litigation as a weapon. Spring has never in her entire life used a single cent of her income for the kids. Indeed she forced me to transfer much of the kids college fund to her. Which she promptly spend on herself. And, of course she committed perjury and her lawyer, Nelly Wince, committed obvious and serious fraud, as I have documented on this site.

So back to my friend. You might think she is bitter. Not at all. She said she has never been happier. Working hard and raising her kids has given her a self-respect and level of integrity she never had before. Contrast that with Spring who barely even sees her kids and is living off ill-gotten gains from her criminal actions. And every day alimony continues she adds to her crimes.


Sunday, June 17, 2018

Cultural Sexism

In the United States, far more women graduate from college than men. ObGyn doctors are overwhelmingly (85+%) women. In addition, more women than men are enrolled in medical school Astonishingly 80% of students in veterinary schools are women.  They also dominate law schools and graduate programs in general.

However there are still large gender gaps, especially in STEM areas. And strangely the gap is larger in more affluent countries than poorer ones.

Much of the reason I believe is cultural sexism. Two recent experiences have supported this.

I have a work colleague whose husband is an Obgyn doctor. On a recent business trip we were having dinner when I mentioned that I had heard on the radio that there are so few men going into ObGyn that schools were starting to give men affirmative action preferences to enter the area.  She quickly said he husband was an ObGyn surgeon and this area was still mostly men. Although she did not say it directly she implied that it was a very difficult area so it was more male dominated.

My other experience was in talking to a couple of young women who are just finishing up their Physical Therapy degrees. One said that her classes were almost all women with just a few guys and contrasted that to college physics where the gender ratio was reversed.  Oddly, to me anyway, she did not think that was wrong but rather stated that men like hard sciences more than women. I told her that may be true in the United States but it is very much a cultural thing. She acted kind of surprised.  (To me honest, it made me feel good to get her to question her assumption)

I know really smart women who are think of themselves as feminists yet still think that hard sciences are a male thing. Which is kind of insane as not that long ago people thought the same way about doctors and lawyers. Yet now the majority of graduating students in both those areas are female.

Go back a few more decades and they said the same about higher education in gender. And even today there are some cultures that think that way about any education for women.

The STEM discrepancy has no biological basis. It is entirely explained by cultural sexism.

Thursday, June 7, 2018

More From Emma Johnson

I must say I really do like Emma Johnson. I recently posted an article from her on why alimony is wrong and now she has written another article on two major problem in society:

  1. Dads who do not live with their kids are barely involved. (Just 22% of dads who live apart from their children see them more than once weekly, per Pew.)
  2. That pay gap will. not. close.

And she offers a solution or at least something that can greatly improve the situation:

START ALL CUSTODY NEGOTIATIONS AT A DEFAULT 50-50 VISITATION AND CUSTODY, WITH NO CHILD SUPPORT OR ALIMONY

The current system, according to Johnson, is antiquated and based upon two primary false assumptions:

  1. Women are incapable of supporting themselves.
  2. Fathers are inferior parents.

Personally, my case is even more egregious as there is little doubt that I am the better parent and I  have been far more involved in my kids lives than their mother. 

Everyone, men women and children, would be better off if they followed Emma Johnson's advice.

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Bill George On Dealing With Severe Trials

Bill George is a former CEO of Medtronic and now a full professor at Harvard. He often has some pretty interesting observations. In What Prince Harry’s Grief Over the Loss of Princess Diana Can Teach Every Leader he discusses how to handle severe trials in life.

Now I have never been a big follower of the British royal family but aspects of the recently married Prince Harry's life are enlightening. As most people know, his mother Princess Diana died tragically when he was just a child. In reaction, Harry buried the pain by joining the military, where he served with some distinction, and heavy partying. Eventually, on the advice of his older bother Prince William, he sought counseling and dealt with he pain of his mothers's loss directly. Since then he has refocused his life to one of charity and service to others. He has become extremely popular and his recent marriage to American Megan Marple has endeared him even more with the public.

George also discusses  Pedro Algorta, one of  survivors of the airplane crash in the Andes Mountains documented in Alive, the popular book by Piers Paul Read and movie of the same name. 

Algota, like all the other survivors, had resorted to cannibalism to stay alive. Suppressing the event, he went on to a highly successful life as a businessman. Eventually however, he did come around to addressing his experience and wrote a book, Into the Mountains: The Extraordinary True Story of Survival in the Andes and Its Aftermath, about the event.

Algota says there are three ways to deal with his severe trials:

  1. Be the victim by living your life looking backward, with anger and blame about what happened to you.
  2. Live your life as if nothing happened, while the memories and pain remain buried inside you.
  3. Use the event to transform your wound into a pearl.
The last one is the the one he recommends. 


Given what happened to me, Spring's perjury, Nelly Wince's blatant fraud and the obvious whitewashing of it by the Lawyers Professional Responsibility Board, the county attorney's office stating that their are no laws against a lawyer lying in court. Judge Mearly's  subversion of the law and many other criminal and unethical acts by various people, I can relate to Algota's three ways. Indeed, I have done them all. 

I have often felt like a victim, especially so because I am still being victimized every day. The twisting knife in my soul has become the background to my life. 

I have also avoided the issue. I have tried not to think about it. I have suppressed the events.  I have focused on education, work, my kids, my relationship with the girl I have been with for many years now. 

I have also addressed the issue and tried to use it to change society for the better. That is why this site exists. Yet, substantive change has eluded me. I am still being forced by the government to reward crimes by others. People are still being victimized every day. People are still dying every day. I must do more. 

Sunday, May 27, 2018

Emma Johnson On Why Alimony Is Wrong

Emma Johnson has a thoughtful and convincingly argued article on why alimony is outdated and misogynistic.

In almost all cases, alimony only makes sense if you believe women are incapable of taking care of themselves and must be provided for by a man.

In my case, Spring lived off me during the marriage choosing to work part-time. There was no agreement that she be a stay at home wife. Significantly I was, at a minimum, and as verified by he court appointed custody evaluator, an equal parent to the children. In reality, I was and have been always far more involved with their lives than she was. I was the primary parent. She was also at the time of her divorcing me, able to make just as much money as me according to the vocational evaluator. Yet she not only received half of the marital assets despite not not contributing to them at all but permanent alimony until my death.

And, of course, she committed perjury and there is unquestionable evidence that her lawyer, Nelly Wince lied in court and committed massive fraud. Just to add insult to injury,  I have had to pay well over $100,00 in legal fees. So far.

Alimony is misogynistic, pure and simple.


Sunday, May 20, 2018

Change Is Possible

It can be despairing to realize just how hard change for the better can be.  The five year recidivism rates for released prisoners in the U.S. is 76.6. Alcohol and other drug treatment programs are notorious for their low success rates.

Yet, some people do change. Sometimes spectacularly so. I was up early this morning, had NPR on as usual, and was listening to On Being as I started my day. The host Krista Tippett was interviewing Derek Black and his friend Mathew Stevenson.

Derek Black was born into a white supremacist family. His father was very active in the movement. His godfather was David Duke. Black embraced white supremacy and became very active himself.

In college Black met people outside his insular circle. People who thought white supremacy was wrong. People who, unlike Black, were not ardent holocaust deniers. Astonishingly he became friends with Stevenson, who is Jewish, and regularly attended his Friday night Shabbat dinners in his dorm room.

Over the course of a couple years, Black changed his mind and eventually renounced white supremacy. He realized that not only were his former beliefs factually wrong but were immoral as well.

I wonder what the odds are that Spring, Nelly Wince and so many others will come to understand that not only have they acted criminally but immorally as well. Probably not good. But if Derek Black can change anyone can. There is always hope.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Is There A Biological Basis Of Narcissism?

New Research has shown that people with a higher levels of testosterone that the average for their gender may be more inclined to abuse their power.

Could this be a biological basis of narcissism and corruption? In the study, people with a higher than average level of testosterone for their gender agreed with statements such as “I insist on getting the respect that is due to me” and “There is nothing wrong with occasionally taking credit for one of your subordinates’ ideas" than others. I would think the ability to rationalize away perjury and criminal activity would also be characteristics of such people.

We all know narcissists. They are the people who believe it is better to get than give. They are the ones who leach off others rather than being charitable. They are the ones who demand good service from others yet never give it. They are the ones who believe the world owes them a living. They are the ones who refuse to even take care of their own children despite being perfectly able to do so. They are the ones intolerant of others yet demanding extreme tolerance for their own actions.

Of course having a higher than average amount of testosterone doesn't make you a narcissist but is likely a factor in predisposing you to narcissism. Sadly narcissism is one of the most difficult predispositions to overcome.


Sunday, May 6, 2018

Detrimental Consequences Of A Gap in Skills Within A Marriage

I have never liked the idea that marriage should be a partnership where each person specializes in a particular area. Commonly it is that the man earns the money, does the yard work, takes care of finances and the woman raises the children and does the house work.

One reason I do not like it is that its equality is a fiction. Equal but separate is never equal. If one spouse earns all the money then the other becomes dependent on him or her. That is the exact term used on tax forms. Ironically, who has the power in such a situation is not predictable.  It may be that the one earning the money has the power because they control the assets or it may be that the non-earning partner has the power because they receive the benefit of the work - not unlike how slave owners received the benefit of their slaves' work. The wage earner becomes an asset that you can work as much as possible to maximize financial gain.

Another reason I do not like separation of responsibilities is that I cannot image that I would have been happy not earning my way and taking care of the kids. Knowing how to do it all, earning money, finances, child rearing, yard work, house work, and cooking are all part of having a rewarding and responsible life. I honestly would not have given up single diaper change.

A recent study, Gap in Financial Literacy Widens for Couples the Longer the Relationship Lasts, demonstrates that even when a couple starts out equally competent in an area, the partner not doing a particular task loses the ability to do so over time. The study focuses on finances but I image the same holds true for child rearing, yard work, house work, etc.

This creates huge problems. In the case of divorce or the death of one partner, a person may not have the skills necessary to succeed in life. Even more insidious, a marriage may fall apart due to one partner's ability atrophying in an area, be that finance or child rearing, and thus not understanding why their partner is making the decisions they are. 

The best strategy is to make sure you share responsibility in all areas. A person who cannot earn their own living as well as raise their own children is a just asking for trouble.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

On A Lighter Note...

My last few posts have been a bit depressing so I will through in some lighter fare. Here are 5 Unusual Things That Boost Life Expectancy For Men.

  1. Stare at Women's Breasts
  2. Have Lots of Sex
  3. Get Married
  4. Become a Parent
  5. Assume Resposiblility
  6. Get a "Dad Bod"

I am more or less a check on all of them with a few caveats. Although I am no longer married, I am in a committed relationship. Also, I like to think my "bod" isn't that bad but at 57 it is definitely not what it was in my 20s. 

On another note, my new plan is to write Spring and Nelly Wince regarding ending alimony by the end of the year. I doubt they will agree but I do feel an obligation to clearly state the consequences if they do not. This is the year either alimony ends or my life becomes dedicated to full recovery of all monies lost including legal fees plus punitive damages or my life becomes forfeit. Continuing as is just plain wrong and way too stressful.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Divorce and Suicide

Men commit suicide 3-4 times more than women and divorced men do so 8 times more than women. 

Richard Hashimashi explores why and comes up with 17 reasons:

  1. The ‘Deadbeat Dad’ Label
  2. Alienation And Estrangement From Children
  3. Financial Ruin
  4. Criminalization Of A Law Abiding Citizen
  5. Losing The Entire Structure Of Family Life And Home
  6. Being Declared Dangerous
  7. Needing A Supervisor
  8. Loss Of Total Identity
  9. Shock
  10. The Loss Of Reality
  11. Disgrace Kills, Not Divorce
  12. A Catastrophic Year Or More
  13. Loss Of Love And Affection
  14. No Support
  15. Negative Side Effects Of Antidepressants
  16. No Future
  17. From Dad To ‘Visitor’ ‘Him’

Let's see - How many of these apply to me?

Well clearly I was never a deadbeat parent, alienated from my children, lost my family structure or identity, lost love and affection (I gained this!) or became a visitor to my children. Indeed and ironically Spring is the one who likely felt these.

Certainly I have taken a financial hit, a huge one at that, but I have avoided financial ruin by working harder and harder. I have not taken any anti-depressants. And despite Spring's best efforts, her perjury failed to have me declared a criminal and I was never under supervision. 

Shock and the loss of reality are probably the two that most apply to me. I was shocked not only that Spring divorced me but even more so that she so easily committed fraud and perjury. She seems to lack even a rudimentary conscience.

Even worse is the surrealness of discovering that the family law system is so rife with corruption and criminality that justice, when it does occur, is essentially accidental. This I suspect is the major reason many, but mostly men and their children, turn to self-destructive behavior including suicide.

When the law condemns an innocent person to be the slave of their criminal persecutor until they die, death becomes an attractive option.  This is tragic but hardly surprising.

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Discouraged

I went to a pro se law clinic at a local law school this morning. As I have not been able to find a lawyer to represent me, it seemed worth the effort. And it was an effort as we are having an all out blizzard today in Minnesota.

Unfortunately the student I met with was not very encouraging. She said it is very difficult to change permanent orders. The facts of the case do not really matter. She said I may have some leverage if my evidence of crime is solid enough (and it could not be more more solid) but strongly recommended I find a lawyer, preferably one with expertise in ethics and professional responsibility.

So I spent some time searching for one. I'll likely meet with a few but I am not sure any will be willing to represent me. Not many lawyers are willing to admit crime is rampant in the legal system and even fewer are willing to fight it.

Part of me thinks I should just file a civil suit against Spring and see what happens. When I am in an optimistic mood, which is less and less common, I see no reason why, given the evidence, this should not return to me all monies I lost due to the crimes committed agaisnt me plus punitive damages.  It should be a slam dunk.

But the likely reality is that I will have no choice but to file a pro se motion to dismiss spousal support in family court. Odds are it not only will be dismissed but will result in further injustices being committed against me. As the court has ruled that spousal support can only be ended by a new court order or my death, that would leave only one option.

Sunday, April 8, 2018

Sexism In The Marines

It is amazing to me just how persistent sexism can be. The armed forces, to their credit, took the lead on racial integration in 1948 under Harry Truman. Granted it was a long road but the road stated with full integration.

Yet here we are in 2018 and we still debate whether all positions in the military should be open to women. I find it absolutely amazing that the Marine Corps still has gender segregated basic training. Many marines still believe that women are somehow less capable than women.

The training is anything but separate but equal (a phrase that has never been true under any context) so this leads quite naturally to women performing worse than men. And when a commander shows that with proper training female marines are every bit as good as male marines, she is fired. When the Marine Corp only takes the best of half the population the end result is without question a less capable Marine Corps.

Friday, March 30, 2018

Corrupt Systems Are Hard To Change

Corrupt systems are hard to change. From 1880 until 1950 over 4000 lynchings occurred agaisnt blacks in 12 southern states. How did the perpetrators get away with this? Because the legal system was rife with corruption. Police, lawyers and judges all let it happen and often were complicit themselves. In almost all cases, even those who knew it was wrong did nothing to stop the murders from being committed. 

To be clear - I believe that the majority of people, in general and within the legal system, during this time did not participate or condone lynchings. But they did not actively work to stop it. The result is that they let a small group of vile and criminal people define their collective morality.

The reason they did not speak up is that they feared the consequences of doing so. Speaking out would jeopardize not only their and their family's social bonds but also their income and even lives. It was easier and safer to remain silent.

A recent study has demonstrated the downsides to whistleblowers.
"In sum, our findings showed that blowing the whistle had—for a large majority—an adverse effect on life and a very negative impact on the mental health of those who blow the whistle, while society in one way or another benefited from their actions. This apparent misbalance in burden needs to be targeted, not only for current whistleblowers but also for future cases to prevent as much as possible that people no longer blow the whistle because of the negative consequences as shown in our and previous studies."
And the larger the scale of where the corruption exists the greater the risk. Blowing the whistle on accounting practices in a small law firm is a lot less risky than blowing the whistle on common, yet criminal, practices within the legal system. I have had lawyers tell me outright that what happened to me is wrong and criminal but that is just the way the system works. I have had lawyers tell me that they disagree with lawyers associations but cannot speak out agaisnt them as they would be ostracized by their peers.

The corrupt individuals are the cancer that sickens the whole.

This site has provided unquestionable evidence of criminal actions within the legal system. Yet the people who have committed the crimes not only have not been punished but have been greatly rewarded for their actions. And the crime continues.  Every day innocent men, women and children are hurt. Many of those victims become violent or self-destructive. No one knows how many people end up dying but it is pretty clear that not a day goes by without someone dying due to corruption within family court. If you do not believe this you are ignoring reality. 

Saturday, March 24, 2018

I Need A Michael Osgood

I need a Michael Osgood.


Although he failed, NYPD’s Special Victims Division's Michael Osgood tried to take down Harvey Weinstein in 2015Why was he unsuccessful? After all he had a victim, Italian model Ambra Battilana and he had solid evidence. What he didn't have was the support of the district attorney. Quite the opposite the DA actively tried to obstruct justice and protect Weinstein. 

In an amazing story, Osgood not only had to put together a case against Weinstein, but had to do so while hiding it from the DA's office as he knew they would dismiss the case given that Weinstein was arguably the most powerful person in Hollywood at the time. 


Like in the divorce industry bringing people to justice takes a lot more than evidence, it takes overcoming the inherent and often pervasive corruption within the legal system. We like to believe that all people are equal under the law but in practice that is far, often very far, from the truth. 

I have the best evidence imaginable that Nelly Wince lied in court and committed fraud. The reaction of the county attorney's office was to tell me there is no law in the state agaisnt a lawyer lying in court. Furthermore, they told me that there is no such thing as fraud upon the court in Minnesota statues despite the very first result when searching Google using the phase "fraud upon the court Minnesota" demonstrates otherwise.  The fact they told me both in writing shows just how normal obstruction of justice is for them. 

I need a Michael Osgood because even though he failed in 2015, just look where Harvey Weisntein is today. And that DA that tried to thwart Osgood's investigation? Today he is fighting for his job. 

Sunday, March 18, 2018

How Immoral Behavior Becomes Common

Immoral behavior, whether it be killing innocents in war, genocide, discrimination against people of a certain skin color, gender, ethnic origin, or sexual orientation as well lawyers lying in court, institutions acting corruptly, or law enforcement officials protecting criminals has always fascinated me. How are people able to preform such horrible actions?

I remember hearing about an Iraqi-American who was being tortured while detained in Iraq under Saddam Hussein. She said her torturer paused for a bit to take a call from his wife. In a perfectly normal, even touching conversation they discussed plans for their daughter's upcoming birthday party. When he was done with the call, he resumed his torturing. 

Maybe the reason is that behavior is considered more moral the more common it is as a Swedish study has recently found.
Altruistic behaviour was considered more morally right than selfish, but both behaviours were judged to be more moral and less deserving of penalty if the majority exhibited them than if they were uncommon.
I suspect most people like to think that if they lived in 1930s Germany they would not have been an avid supporter of Hitler. They would not be the ones in the death camps killing innocent men, women and children. Maybe everyone should examine their present actions a bit more closely.

The core reason that immoral and criminal actions are so common in family court and why the perpetrators are able to get away with such horrible acts and crimes, is that these actions are common, even normal. They are ubiquitous.  It is just the way the system works as has been stated to me many times. It is time for the system to change.

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Critical Thinking And Good Judgement

I have often told my children that the greatest value of education is that it improves judgment.

Yet many people who are educated have poor judgment. How can this be? The key I believe is critical thinking. Especially self-aware critical thinking.

So what is critical thinking? In essence it is thinking rationally in all aspects.  Especially about your own thoughts and actions. Some would call it mindfulness but it is more than that. It is mindfulness grounded in reality. Perhaps it is easier to look at a few examples of not thinking critically.

  • Being convinced an unknown light in the sky is an alien spaceship. 
  • Believing a squeak in your house is ghost/fairy/poltergeist/gremlin/leprechaun.
  • Believing you have superhero powers and if you just concentrate hard enough you can move objects. Like a Jedi.
  • Committing perjury in court like Spring did, yet maintaining that you are a good person and not a criminal. 
  • Blatantly breaking the Lawyers Code of Professional Conduct and the law as Nelly Wince did yet believing that you are moral person and upright lawyer. 
  • Being responsible for disciplining attorneys who break the Lawyers Code of Professional Conduct as the Lawyers Professional Responsibility Board (LPRB) is, yet mostly doing the exact opposite - shielding lawyers from the consequences of their unethical and criminal actions. 
  • Knowingly providing false information in order to cover up a crime as County Attorney Bennie Sonsang did. 
Now possibly Spring, Nelly Wince, the LPRB and Bennie Sonsang do think critically and know their actions are abhorrent and criminal but I really doubt it. I think they, like most people who do bad things, mentally avoid thinking critically about their actions. They live delusional lives. 

This delusional thinking is the root cause of nearly all bad things humans do to each other. 

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Alimony and Child Abandonment

One of the strange consequences of alimony is that it often allows a parent to effectively get away with child abandonment. 

In Minnesota parental rights can be terminated when:
"the parent has substantially, continuously, or repeatedly refused or neglected to comply with the duties imposed upon that parent by the parent and child relationship, including but not limited to providing the child with necessary food, clothing, shelter, education, and other care and control necessary for the child's physical, mental, or emotional health and development, if the parent is physically and financially able"
Now in my case Spring after the divorce (actually before but legally our monies were pooled then) not only never provided a single dime of her income to support the children but actually reduced my ability to provide for them due to her receiving alimony. This despite the substantial amount of money and property she received from her divorce of me and the fact the employment evaluation determined she could make just as much money as me.

If she had done this while single or a widow the court would have taken the children away from her for child abandonment. Now I highly doubt that would have happened because I think, or at least hope, she would have not abandoned the children in such a situation. I think she would have acted in at least a minimally responsible manner. Quite possibly more than minimally.  Indeed, she might have even become a good person not only for the children but for society as a whole.

Responsibility is one of the things that tends to build on itself. If you do the right thing, even if  only because you have little choice, it tends to  build over time. Responsibility is really a learned self-reinforcing behavior. Sadly so is irresponsibility.