Monday, April 20, 2015

Permanent Alimony Debate

A few years back had an article on Florida's effort to reform alimony. What I found most compelling were comments it published originally posted on another site.

Here are a few compelling personal stories of both men and women posted in the comments section of the Crestview News Bulletin article:
My husband and I have been married for 11 years and he has been paying permanent alimony for equal to the length of his marriage to his ex (12 years, the myth that permanent alimony only results from a 20 year plus marriage is FALSE). When his marriage ended she left the marriage with more money than he did. In 2012, when their oldest child graduated from high school and she no longer received child support, she asked for an increase in alimony (we are in the middle of the case now). Now the court wants to use my income and savings as a basis to increase her support.”
To tell you a little about me…….I was a single parent for 13 years and raised my daughter alone without even receiving child support because my daughter’s father had no job or assets. Part of my survival as a single parent was to save money when I can. Now my saving money and being a responsible citizen and mother is backfiring on me and the court wants me to give it to my husband’s ex. She bought all the new cell phones and iPods, not me. She had new cars and a rental on the beach, not me. Yet now I am asked to pay. As Americans we are asked…begged….to take control of our own destiny. Work hard, save money, build your 401k and do not rely on the social security system as a single means of income as a retired person……that is what we are told. With alimony you pay forever….. forever. The case of the 40 year marriage where the wife had no job and had no education is the exception…..not the rule.”
In Florida, judges have the right to apply Life Long, Permanent sentencing for Murder, Rape, Child Abuse, Human/Drug Trafficking, High Treason and Divorce….that’s the list! Divorce is not a crime, Alimony Payers are not criminals. We are hard workers and good parents. Helping the ex-spouse become self sufficient as a new “single” citizen is something that we can, should and will do proudly. Helping an ex-spouse get free money for life at the expense of our hard work – and in many cases, the lost opportunity for re-marriage, savings, and retirement – is a sad reality that needs to change. All we ask for are some guidelines and an end date. Provide her money to get an education……but only durational…….not permanent.” 

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