Pastor William Kurt
is a Lutheran minister we met with after Spring walked out on
mediation with Lisa Guider and filed for divorce. I had begged Spring
to reconsider the divorce and she suggested, demanded really, we meet
with Pastor Kurt who she knew through family connections. I suspect
that she expected that Pastor Kurt would “take her side” unlike
what happened with Lisa Guider. We met extensive with Pastor Kurt at
his church over a 4-5 month period.
Pastor Kurt was an
interesting person. Having grown up Catholic in a Catholic/Jewish
neighborhood I had never known many Lutherans despite the fact that
Minnesota has a large and vibrant Lutheran community due to its
strong Scandinavian heritage. Also, as is common in Minnesota, Pastor
Kurt sent his own sons to a Catholic high school, the very same one
my eldest would start at that fall. His church also held a lot of
events with a nearby Catholic Church. I did enjoy some of our
discussions on the differences and similarities between the Catholic
and Lutheran Churches. I really had no idea that the mass and
doctrine followed by Catholics and Lutherans was so similar.
As for mediation,
Pastor Kurt, whose wife was a reformed alcoholic, focused on Spring's
drinking to her dismay. More that that he ended up telling her that
her actions in lying to me and forging my name were sinful. Spring
even told him that she agreed with him on this but I highly doubt she
really did considering her later actions. He also told her that her
behavior was passive-aggressive. Spring did not take all of this
well. She stormed out on him several times.
Finally at our last
meeting, Pastor Kurt wanted to get everything out in the open and
asked if we were both willing to have an honest conversation and not
hold anything said against each other. Spring agreed. He then told
her that we needed to get to the root cause of our issues which were
Spring's handling of money and her drinking. Spring walked out and
restarted the divorce process.
Pastor Kurt is a
good person and really tried his best. I am grateful to him for his
effort. In hindsight, I am not sure anyone could have saved the
marriage given Spring's mental state.
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