Cassie Jaye - Partisanship vs. Balance

One of the unfortunately trends in our society is that we favor partisanship over balance. In politics, people who agree with some Republican positions and some Democratic positions have been purged by their parties for not being loyal enough. Extremists rise to power and moderates are expelled. 

The happens in gender discussions as well.  Most people view feminists as the opposite of those who advocate for men's rights. Rarely does someone advocate agaisnt discrimination whether it be against women or men. Rarely do people working to prevent violence against women recognize that violence against men by women even happens. Rarely do men advocating for men's rights argue that we need more women running companies, in political office and in the military. Rarely do feminists state it is unacceptable that males make up 98+% of deaths in the military.

Cassie Jayne is an feminist filmmaker who made the documentary film The Red Pill (available on Amazon for free with Prime) on the men's rights movement.  Making the film actually charged her thinking about gender discrimination. She went from a partisan to a more balanced viewpoint. Sadly she has been criticized, even vilified for doing so.

Intelligence, honesty and integrity are sadly undervalued traits.

Unintended #MeToo Consequnces

The #MeToo movement has certainly brought to light many crimes and unethical practices that have been too long tolerated in our society. Which is good. Very good. But we should also recognize that like anything else bad people use it as just another way to commit crimes and unethical actions. Even if only 2% of accusations are false that means that 1 our 50 people accused have their life unjustly ruined.

But there are more subtle downsides to the movement or more accurately the subversion of the movement as Bloomberg journalists Gillian Tan and Katia Porzecanski highlight in, Wall Street Rule for the #MeToo Era: Avoid Women at All Cost.

Because an accusation alone can ruin a career and destroy a family and the reality is that there are false accusations, men often go to extraordinary lengths to avoid any situation which could lead to a false accusation. Things like going to dinner with a female co-worker on a business trip or socializing after hours. The very things that often help advance one's career.

The reality is that many good men are paranoid about false accusations which leads them to exclude women more. This has the effect of making it harder for women to achieve equality in the workplace. And men are right to be paranoid. No one knows the rate of false #MeToo accusations is; however, we do know that the rate of false accusations in divorce court is high, anywhere from 70 to 95%. Nearly everyone has either gone through divorce or knows someone who has. In just my own case, all the people who I have talked to about it understand that false accusations in divorce court are common and devastating. I suspect that even Spring's family and friends understand the reality of what she did. Avoiding any situation that might place you a position to be falsely accused is a rational reaction.

If we want equality for all then we need justice for all. At one time in our country just an accusation of a rape against a white women by a black man would result in a lynching. We are repeating that with false #MeToo accusations and false abuse claims in divorce cases.

The Lauren Clark Way

Lauren Clark in a move somewhat like Riley North in the movie Peppermint but sans the violence went public, very public when she was assaulted, fondled and robbed  by an attacker while she was out for a run in Washington, D.C.

Clark likely only escaped being raped because she fought back.

The assistant, Jayro Cruz, was caught and confessed. Despite Cruz's history of sexual assaults he as sentence to only 10 days in jail and these were worked around his schedule as a rising chef in the restaurant world. Cruz repeatedly violated his prohibition yet received no further punishment.

Clark eventually took to contacting the restaurant he worked at and passed out flyers. If she couldn't get justice from the court she was going to make sure everyone knew who Cruz was and what he had done.  Way to go!

I have often thought of taking the same path. The lawyers, judges and others who have acted unethically and quite often criminally in my case have caused so much pain to so many that it is truly tragic they have only got away with their actions but have financially benefited from them. The court seems incapable of acting in a just manner. So maybe they way to proceed is to quit using pseudonyms and start using the real names of the guilty.

Like I Always Say...

Like I always say, if you want to know if an action is inappropriate swap the gender/race/national origin/gender preference and see if you think the same way.

The comedian/actor Amy Schumer thinks it is hilarious that in college she took advantage of a drunk male student. By advantage I mean sexual advantage. If the genders were reversed pretty much everyone would call it rape. Actually it is pretty clearly legally rape but we unfortunately do not live in a society that has equal rights for men and women.

Maybe the student Schumer took advantage of should sue Schumer for all the money she has made using the story in her comedy routine. Maybe Schumer should never work in entertainment again. Maybe she should go to jail.

Maybe she should hook up with Harvey Weinstein given how much they seem to have in common.

It is pretty disgusting and disheartening to learn that a person who complains about being treated in a discriminatory manner doesn't  actually care about what is right. They just want to be the abuser not the victim. 

Sadly this is no surprise to me given that the LPRB predominately operates in a manner exactly opposite to its purpose - they protect lawyers from the consequences of their criminal and unethical actions rather than censure them for such actions. Or for that matter the entire family justice system which  rather than operating to ensure justice is instead itself rife with criminal and unethical activity.

MLK Day

I attended an MLK Day event the night before the holiday which was filled with music from around the world and presentations on those who, like Martin Luther King, seek justice through non-violent means. It was quite moving.

It is my belief that the root cause of racist, criminal and violent thinking and actions is a common mental construct that puts the self above others. It is a lack of compassion and empathy. It is a belief that I am better than you and that my group however defined - nationality, skin color, economic status - is better than yours.

A compassionate and empathetic person does not view skin color any differently than hair color. A compassionate and empathetic person does not view someone with less wealth as less worthy.

During the slavery period in the United States, the poorest white person in the south took comfort in knowing that it least he or she was not black. Such thinking is a coping mechanism to make one feel better about oneself.

Wouldn't it be nice if the way everyone felt better about themselves was because they were more compassionate, empathetic and nice? That is the dream.

Peppermint

On a long business flight last week I watched the movie Peppermint. It was an interesting movie to watch, especially for me. In the movie three members of a drug gang murder the husband and daughter of Riley North, played by Jennifer Garner. North is able to identify the killers; however, they are able to escape prosecution due to the workings of corrupt judges, lawyers and law enforcement personnel. I can relate.

North disappears for 5 years and then on the anniversary of her husband and daughter's deaths, the three killers are found murdered. Guess who did it? She then moves on to the judge. And then up the drug gang to the leader. She leaves an impressive trail of dead bad guys.

The story reminded me a lot of the The Count of Monte Cristo in that she used the tools of her oppressors against them.

The movie was enjoyable but disturbing as well. Even through the corruption I see and in many cases have experienced first hand in the legal system, if not overtly as bad as is depicted in the movie, results just as much pain, suffering and death. Yet I would never go down the path of violence. One, it is not in my nature. Two, violence, even when done against an evil person, tends to increase violence  in general. But most importantly, eliminating a few bad people is a small fix. What I want to see, is the corruption eliminated so that others in the future do not have to suffer as I and so many others have. Unfortunately there will always be some bad people. Our legal and law enforcement system is suppose to minimize the harm such people can do. When these systems themselves because criminally corrupt, they act like a metastasizing cancer vastly increasing crime and suffering throughout society.

Although I do admit that I hope people like Nelly Wince, Judge Mearly, the members of the Lawyers Professional Responsibility Board and all the others who acted unethically or criminally agaisnt me and my kids see Peppermint and wonder if one day someone they hurt will see the movie and come for them. They do not need to worry about me, as I say I do not have a violent nature, but it isn't like I am their only victim.

Life Sentence - Florida's Alimony Problem Documentary

Florida has been trying for years to reform alimony. Twice bills have passed the legislature only to be vetoed by Governor Rick Scott. The all volunteer Florida Family Law Reform PAC has released a new video detailing the dire need for reform. It is well worth a watching. 

Life Sentence - Florida's Alimony Problem Documentary

As an extra bonus, at a manager conference last week we were shown the following video which is actually an ad for a Danish television station. It is possibly the best best diversity training you will ever have. Like many people from work, I have shared it with my kids.