Another Try In Florida

For years Florida has been trying to pass alimony reform into law. Several times a bill has made it through the legislature only to have it vetoed by Governor Rick Scott. A new effort is now underway.

On Thursday Boca Raton marital and family law attorney Alan Elkins, speaking for Florida Family Fairness, which annually spearheads alimony reform pushes, denounced permanent alimony as unfair, charging it creates a “culture of dependence” for those receiving it and a “life sentence” for payers. He contended that Florida’s guidelines are so broadly interpreted by individual judges that the questions of how much alimony should be paid, and for how long, vary tremendously from judge to judge, even within any given judicial circuit, and shouldn’t and needn’t do so.

Reform is being fought by a group of divorce lawyers which is unsurprising because anything that reduces inequity and pain in family court is certainly not in their financial interest.

Disappointingly The National Organization of Women (NOW), which once advocated agaisnt alimony as it perpetuated the view that women are inferior to men, is now advocating against any alimony reform. 

Although about 98% of alimony is paid by the man it is often the case there their second spouses pay alimony because legally once married they are obligated as well. I cannot marry the woman I am with because of this. If I became disabled or ended up with Alzheimer's, my new spouse would be required to pay alimony to Spring even through Spring left me, was not the primary care giver for the children and has never used a dime of her income for the children despite the employment evaluator stated she is able to make just as much money as me. Yes, that is how unfair it is.

There are a few case where alimony is paid for by women. One is cited in the article.

Alicia del Rey of Marion County, also representing Florida Family Fairness, turned traditional gender roles upside down when she spoke of how she’s being forced to pay permanent alimony to a man whom she said was an abusive and irresponsible husband who “squandered our assets” and has never been able to hold a job.

“I would have never imagined that I would be paying permanent alimony to my abuser ex-husband and be forced to pay him for the rest of my life,” she said, recalling how in 2011 she finally got the courage, after 30 years of marriage, to seek divorce. “Thus far I have paid this man over $41,000, the money I need to pay my mortgage, plan for retirement and fund my goal to go back to graduate school to provide a better life for myself and my family.”

“The most discouraging part is there is no end in sight, and I have no path that allows me to free this abusive ex-husband,” del Rey said.

I can only hope such stories will encourage those who oppose alimony reform to realize that the purpose of reform is to advance equality and justice for all regardless of gender.

Why No Equity?

Stephen Frenz, a longtime Minneapolis landlord, has been convicted of perjury. It is unusual for someone to be convicted of perjury but Hennepin County Attorney Mike Freeman stated, "He lied to the court and he abused the system and he was hurting a lot of people, and he has hurt a lot of people."

Compare this to my case. My ex-wife Spring certainly committed perjury but I have no illusions she would ever be convicted.  Her lawyer, Nelly Wince, lied numerous times both in court and in writing but none of it was sworn testimony so there isn't even an opportunity for a perjury conviction.

But I have never imagined that either Spring or Ms. Wince would ever be convicted of perjury. In fact, in Spring's case, the best I can hope for is for an end to alimony and the return of monies obtained criminally.

For Nelly Wince, the matter is different. She committed fraud. Specifically fraud upon the court as she lied to the court. Fraud upon the court is so serious that there is no statute of limitations on it in Minnesota. I have the evidence. I should by all rights be able to sue her to recover my losses as well as punitive damages.  This, as far as I can determine, happens even less often then convictions for perjury. Maybe it is time for this to change. Family law attorneys should not be above the law.

Why People Commit Suicide

If you ask most people why a person would commit suicide, they will typically assume depression or other mental health problems. The reality is far more complicated.

Around 43 percent of the variability in suicidal behavior among the general population can be explained by genetics...while the remaining 57 percent is attributable to environmental factors.

One cause of suicide often ignored or at least overlooked is self-sacrifice. The classic example is the proverbial story of a soldier jumping on a grenade in a foxhole to save his squad. Another is the suffragettes in both the United States and the United Kingdom who starved themselves to death in protest of their lack of voting rights. Or the IRA members who died on hunger strikes to protest Margaret Thatcher's decision to incarcerate them as criminals rather than prisoners of war. The iron lady relented. 

A more recent example is that of Tunisian  Mohamed Bouazizi  who set himself on fire to protest police corruption. His act of self-immolation was the spark the ignited the Arab Spring.

We do not know how many people who commit suicide do so out of self-sacrifice. It would be difficult to determine and there are no studies on the matter. My guess, however, is that is is far greater than most people assume.

Suicide is often not so much a call for help as it is a call for justice.

Reverse The Genders

Using my "is it sexist if you reverse the genders" test,  take a look at this card I ran across being sold at a store:

Imagine the outrage if the the picture was of a king and the phrase was something like, "God created Man, Women were an afterthought". This would be rightly viewed as highly sexist. So why is the above funny?

Even more pernicious is when violence by women is viewed as humorous. For a striking (pun intended) example take a look at this commercial for Dannon Oikos Greek Yogurt from the 2012 Super Bowl.

Most people think it is funny. What if it were the woman teasing the man and he gave her black eye? That would result in a strong boycott agaisnt Dannon and legal action against the company in many countries.

We have a long way to go before we achieve gender equality.

NPO 2019 Shared Parenting Report Card

The National Parents Organization, which advocates for shared parenting, has released their 2019 Shared Parenting Report Card.

Minnesota ranks fairly high, although their ranking has gone down a bit from last year. In my case, Spring fought tooth and nail for sole custody, even though, I believe, she knew and desired that I be the primary parent.  So then why did she fight so hard for custody? Two reasons that I can see. The first is that she believed, quite correctly, that she would get more money out of me if were were awarded it. Money seems to have been the driving factor of a lot of her actions. But the second one is more psychological. She believed that it would make her look better to her and her family. After all, she left me. If the court had awarded me sole custody that would have raised a lot of questions.

I suspect the reason Minnesota ranks so high is that, unlike with alimony, we have a formula for child support. Like splitting assets earned by either spouse earned during the marriage when divorcing, it isn't necessarily fair but it is know and hence less prone to corruption.

From the NPO report:

Extensive research going back more than a quarter century has found that the 35% of children in fatherless or single parent families not only fare worse in terms of psychological and emotional well-being, physical and mental health, labor market and wealth accumulation outcomes, but are more prone to social pathologies such as child abuse, crime and substance abuse.

These children represent:

• 63% of teen suicides;• 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions;• 71% of high school dropouts;• 75% of children in chemical abuse centers; 

The societal cost of fatherlessness and single-parent families has been conservatively estimated at $100 billion annually.

Lifetime Alimony

Although not quite a bad as my situation but still terrible, Robert Rosenthal discusses his divorce with attorneys Karyn Turk and Joe Costello.

Interesting Quotes

I ran into some interesting quotes about family court, specifically in California but I am sure many  apply to other states as well. Certainly they do in Minnesota. Although I will say that I don't quite agree about many of them such as the one about the Rothschild's owning the legal industry. That is pure conspiratorial nonsense.

Here are a few that I like:

“I would say that about 50% of the people are corrupt.”
Spoken about San Diego Family Courts, by someone who works in them. This was my experience as well:
and that the other half simply keeps quiet while stuffing their pockets with CASH.

"Attorney's are like slot machines, you ... put money into them but it is
 very unpredictable if you are going to get anything back ..., and if you
do, it will ... cost you much ..., you will be bankrupt."
Excerpted from Without Honor, Hall of Injustice, by Raymond Heninger 

“There has never been a case in the history of the California
Family Courts where a court official was convicted of Perjury.”
Spoken to me by two different lawyers  who work in the San Diego Family Courts.
That's because to a Judge-Buddy, telling Lies in court are just “Petty things” ... and
because California gives Lieyers a Free Pass to play Lies & Court: via "Litigation Privilege." 

“Justice only takes place down there by Accident.”
Spoken to me by a man who used to work with the San Diego Family Courts: right after I told
him that Billy the Kidnapper made a false charge in court that was not reported to CPS, nor investigated.

“The government’s job is to protect its citizens, but in the case of an
angry spouse or former spouse, the court’s officials sit back and allow
them to nitpick and tell as many lies as they want until all the money
is gone.  That’s how they make their money. It’s all about the Money.”
Spoken by a man who who also LOST custody of his son in the San Diego Family Courts, and afterward
stopped paying taxes and wrote the Great IRS Hoax: located on the http://famguardian.org  website: