Alimony and Child Abandonment

One of the strange consequences of alimony is that it often allows a parent to effectively get away with child abandonment. 

In Minnesota parental rights can be terminated when:

"the parent has substantially, continuously, or repeatedly refused or neglected to comply with the duties imposed upon that parent by the parent and child relationship, including but not limited to providing the child with necessary food, clothing, shelter, education, and other care and control necessary for the child's physical, mental, or emotional health and development, if the parent is physically and financially able"

Now in my case Spring after the divorce (actually before but legally our monies were pooled then) not only never provided a single dime of her income to support the children but actually reduced my ability to provide for them due to her receiving alimony. This despite the substantial amount of money and property she received from her divorce of me and the fact the employment evaluation determined she could make just as much money as me.

If she had done this while single or a widow the court would have taken the children away from her for child abandonment. Now I highly doubt that would have happened because I think, or at least hope, she would have not abandoned the children in such a situation. I think she would have acted in at least a minimally responsible manner. Quite possibly more than minimally.  Indeed, she might have even become a good person not only for the children but for society as a whole.

Responsibility is one of the things that tends to build on itself. If you do the right thing, even if  only because you have little choice, it tends to  build over time. Responsibility is really a learned self-reinforcing behavior. Sadly so is irresponsibility.