Real Sexism

RealSexism.com is a site with a wealth of information, most often with sources, which challenge perceptions of women being the sole victims of sexism.

A few tidbits:

• Men are 97% of combat fatalities.
• Men pay 97% of Alimony
• Men make 94% of work suicides.
• Men make up 93% of work fatalities.
• Men make up 81% of all war deaths.
• Men lose custody in 84% of divorces.
• 80% of all suicides are men.
• 77% of homicide victims are men.
• 89% of men will be the victim of at least one violent crime.
• Men are over twice as victimised by strangers as women.
• Men are 165% more likely to be convicted than women.
• Men get 63% longer sentences than women for the same crime.
• Court bias against men is at least 6 times bigger than racial bias.
• Males are discriminated against in school and University.
• Boys face vastly more corporal punishment than girls.
• 60-80% of the homeless are men.
• Women's Cancers receive 15 times more funding than men's
• At least 10% of fathers are victims of paternity fraud.
• One third of all fathers in the USA have lost custody of children, most are expected to pay for this.

Divorce in America: Who Wants Out and Why?

The Austin Institute has some relevant and fascinating information on Divorce in America: Who Wants Out and Why?

Women are far more likely to desire and file for divorce. Why? They often cite physical or emotional abuse. But sadly that is all too often just a tactic to garner more money that has nothing to do with reality.

Physical violence is an alarmingly common reason listed by women seeking divorce—at 21 percent—a figure nearly three times higher than that reported by men. Yet when currently-married couples are asked about physical abuse, nearly identical shares of men and women (10% and 11%, respectively) say that they have experienced some form of physical abuse at least once in their current marriage. About one in every 200 currently-married men and women report numerous instances of physical violence, while 5 percent of women and 4 percent of men report that their current spouse has been physically violent with them more than once. 

It is tragic when men abuse women, But it is also tragic when woman abuse men. And false accusations of abuse are, if not just as bad, right up there.

There was never even a hint of physical or emotional abuse by me during my relationship and marriage to Spring. She, on the other hand lied so frequently it seemed like an addition, stole money regularly and was violent enough to permanently shift my septum when she hit me in the face one day. Her moral compass, barely functioning during our marriage, was totally tossed overboard during the divorce.

Divorce Costs Everyone

You may think that unethical and criminal actions surrounding divorce just affects the parties involved. It doesn't - it hurts everyone. Why?

• As I have emphasized on DivorceInjustice.org, family courts are literally a cesspool of unethical and criminal activity. People who commit crimes in one area, especially if they get away with it, are more likely to commit crimes in other areas. And those who witness such crimes learn that crime does indeed pay, and pay well. 
• The massive cost to taxpayers who not only pay for many of the court costs but have to make up for the reduced taxes paid to the government when one person is awarded the right to live off another's labor rather than becoming a productive tax-paying member of society. 
• The damage to children who learn first hand that doing the right thing and maintaining your integrity can cause you to spend the rest of your life working for the benefit of someone who has no such scruples. 
• Increased violence agaisnt others and themselves by the victims, including children. 

One of the most direct ways that divorce costs taxpayers is through increased social security costs because divorced people can both claim full spousal benefits whereas married people can only claim one. This is so lucrative that many financial planners advise clients to get divorced as a strategy to maximize their social security benefits. CNN Money says:

"Divorced people can get something married people can't, namely two free full spousal benefits rather than just one," according to "Get What's Yours."

Bankrate has an informative graphic:

Cohabitation Is Often Hard to Define

I completely support Minnesota HF 1333 which would end alimony payments in Minnesota upon the cohabitation of the recipient rather than only remarriage as current law stipulates but the bill is just a small step on the path to full reform.

New Jersey, which did pass a law that ends alimony upon cohabitation, is already struggling with defining cohabitation. When can ex-husband cut off alimony to former wife who has boyfriend? Currently in Minnesota, and previously in New Jersey, the recipient is incentified to not get married. Ending alimony upon cohabitation incentifies recipients to either not cohabitate or hide the fact that they are. This is still better than before because hiding cohabitation is a bigger hassle than just not marrying as you need to maintain separate mailing addresses and accounts.

Real alimony reform will end permanent alimony in all but the most unusual circumstances and make any awards of alimony reasonable, limited and fair.  

Minnesota Alimony Reform - My Story

My story is now on the the Minnesota Alimony Reform site.

Minnesota Alimony Reform is a new organization that appears to be gaining momentum quickly. It is by far the best hope we have for alimony (known as spousal support in Minnesota) reform in the state.

One aspect of alimony in Minnesota is that it by law it ends upon the remarriage of the recipient but not when the recipient cohabitants with someone. This creates an incentive for the recipient to never get married simply in order to continue to collect alimony. The proposed bill MF 1333 would end alimony upon cohabitation as well as marriage. See Minnesota Alimony Reform's page on HF 1333 for how you can help support the bill.

South Carolina Alimony Reform

In a letter to the editor of the The Herald, Sandra Fish makes a concise, eloquent argument for alimony reform in South Carolina.

Our system is broken. This is the year 2016 and our alimony laws are supporting the ex-spouses roles of helpless women of the 1960 era.

Most people believe that alimony is good for women and bad for men because 95+ percent of alimony is paid by men. They forget that the victims of unjust alimony awards include not just the person paying alimony but the children of the person paying (and 50% of those are girls), people whom they date, and new wives - wives who are often required to use their income to pay alimony to the previous spouse. And because alimony often prevents the person receiving it from becoming a moral, self-sufficient and productive member of society, it hurts the recipient and society in general as well.

Deadbeat Mom's

Highlighting just how lopsided out judicial system is when it comes to child support, Madam Noir asks, Deadbeat moms? Should Mothers Be Required To Pay Child Support To Their Child's Father? 

According to the Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement, only 5% of mothers pay child support compared to 85% of fathers. And it’s been reported that in some cases, even if the father is the custodial parent, he may STILL be ordered to pay child support to the mother if he earns more money than she does – but not the reverse.

I am a believer is equality. It is wrong when a woman makes less money than a man for equal work. It is wrong to exclude women from combat positions in the military. It is wrong that only men have to sign up for the draft. It is wrong that 95% of alimony is paid by men. It is wrong that child support laws are not equally applied to both men and women.

Discrimination cannot end without there being equality and fairness. That is the reality. A man who is unfairly paying alimony or child support to a woman can easily rationalize paying his female employees less than his male ones. It is all connected.